80 Minutes, Color, USA, 2007
Written By: Michael Davis
Directed By: Michael Davis
Dramatis Personae:
Clive Owen
is Smith, grumpy action hero with deadly aim and
a taste for tubers.
Paul
Giamatti is Hertz, frazzled and self-important assassin, arch-nemesis to Smith.
Monica
Bellucci is Donna, lactating prostitute
and reluctant ally of Smith.
Stephen McHattie is Hammerson, corrupt and creepy
arms dealer who loves his dog a little TOO much.
Greg Byrk is The Lone Man, Government Spook with
his own agenda.
Commentary:
Sweet Mother of All that is Unholy.
There are action movies. Then there are action
movies that donÕt take themselves seriously. And then there are action movies
that are so ludicrously over the top that there is no way you can possibly do
anything but sit back and enjoy the ride. Shoot ÔEm Up is one such movie.
Clocking in at a trim 80 minutes, and jam-packed with action sequences of
ever-increasing ludicrousness, this movie is a perfect crystallization of
everything good about action movies, with none of the baggage. ItÕs got the
style of a John Woo, the rabid enthusiasm of a Robert Rodriguez, and the
efficient pacing of a John McTiernan. ItÕs like someone put them all in a
blender and then skimmed off the fat. And itÕs the perfect way to end the
summer season.
Shoot ÔEm Up sets the pace for
itself from the first scene. We meet our hero, a glowering tough guy known only
as Mister Smith, as he waits at a bus stop in a seedy part of town, chomping on
a carrot. A woman, underdressed, panicked, and very very pregnant, staggers
past him and into an abandoned warehouse. A moment later, an armed and angry
thug comes around the corner and follows her inside. Smith merely rolls his
eyes, curses under his breath, then gets up and goes after them to help.
And help he does. Within the first five minutes
of the movie, Smith manages to singlehandedly take down an entire army of
heavily-armed thugs, deliver the womanÕs baby, and make the personal acquaintance
of Mister Hertz, leader of the thugs. The battle in the warehouse is startling,
as Smith uses the environment to his advantage in a variety of creative ways:
diving under tables, sliding through grease, spraying bullets that never miss
the mark. And while Smith manages to get everyone out, the babyÕs mother is
killed by a lucky shot. Leaving Smith to care for a newborn baby boy whom
someone wants dead.
At first, Smith tries to pawn the baby off on
Donna, a prostitute he knows who is currently lactating (for reasons that will
be revealed later). In so doing, he inadvertently leads Hertz to Donna and
winds up having to rescue her. Relentlessly pursued by Hertz and his army of
henchmen, Smith must get them all to safety and try to figure out whatÕs so
special about this baby thatÕs been dropped into his lap.
ThatÕs pretty much all you need to know. Sure,
as the movie goes on, the plot is revealed – a convoluted conspiracy
involving bone marrow donors, a Presidential candidate, and a gun control bill
– but for the most part, Shoot ÔEm Up is pretty much a
nonstop chase movie, as Smith and his strange surrogate family stumble from one
ridiculous action sequence to the next, and Smith mows down faceless minions by
the gross. Smith is like something out a Jackie Chan movie, hurling himself
through moving cars and tossing furniture at bad guys with physics-defying
energy. His performance is made all the more priceless by Clive OwenÕs
stone-faced countenance. The glowering anti-hero distilled down to its basic
elements, Mister Smith is perhaps the grumpiest action hero in the history of
film. He never so much as cracks a smile, even when delivering intentionally
horrible one-liners – which, of course, is part of the joke. Even the
patent ridiculousness of his gimmick – he munches on carrots like some
bad-ass Bugs Bunny – is sold so perfectly because Clive Owen scowls so
intently while he does it. Smith hates EVERYTHING, and never misses an
opportunity to pontificate on the petty injustices of the world, which he
rights in his own equally petty way throughout the film (he steals a car from a
man who parks in a handicapped spot, and uses it to run an inconsiderate driver
off the road, for one example). ItÕs a nice inversion of convention, too, when
we realize that Smith, despite his intelligence and startling combat aptitude,
is basically a homeless man, squatting in an abandoned building (where he grows
his own carrots) and trying to buy ammunition with food stamps. ItÕs enough to
make one wonder what Smith is, how he learned to kill so efficiently. In fact,
there is a point in the movie where Hertz reveals the fruits of his research
into who his enemy might be, but weÕre never told if itÕs the truth or not. The
movie pretty much acknowledges that SmithÕs background is unimportant. Who he
is is secondary to what he does, and what he does is dispatch people in
creative and ridiculous ways for our entertainment.
Clive OwenÕs humorless anti-hero act is
complimented by Paul GiamattiÕs scenery-chewing turn as Mister Hertz. Paul
Giamatti is perhaps one of the best character actors working today, and he
seems to understanding EXACTLY what his part needs to be. He spends the movie
doing some kind of bad James Cagney impression, cracking lame jokes and
screaming at his incompetent henchmen.
HertzÕs style is that of passive-aggressive middle-management, as he
tries to be the hands-on boss to lead his men by example. As if being an
assassin is just a job, and heÕs just a bureaucrat dealing with staff issues.
ThereÕs also a running gag where heÕs forced to deal with constant cellphone
calls from his nagging wife, who needles him constantly about getting home in
time for his sonÕs 8th birthday party. ThereÕs a very weird thread
of post-millennial career parent angst permeating the film, as both Hertz and
Smith try to balance work and family. ItÕs just that their work involves trying
to kill each other.
Shoot ÔEm Up is a rare bird among
modern self-aware action movies. A film like this could very easily become too
clever for its own good and collapse in on itself. Somehow this film manages to
sidestep that trap. Maybe because itÕs such a short movie; it avoids
overstaying its welcome. Maybe itÕs because itÕs got a cast of very good actors
who realize the kind of movie theyÕre in (why is Clive Owen not the new James
Bond again?). Or maybe itÕs just good timing; the summer of 2007 was kind of
lackluster in terms of decent action films, and perhaps a gem like this one
shines all the brighter for it.
I know one thing for sure: IÕll never look at
carrots the same way again.
Things To Look For:
- It is, perhaps, silly
of me to look for any subtext in a movie like this, but there seems to be at
least a perfunctory stab at establishing some kind of grander scheme. Our
villains consist of a corrupt senator, an unscrupulous gun manufacturer, and a
contract killer with an inferiority complex. Our hero is a relatively ordinary
guy who is outraged by everyday displays of malice and inconsiderateness. In a
climactic moment, Smith admonishes the senator on siding with those who stand
to profit from alliances with him, rather than doing what is right. ItÕs not a
very deep or complex message, but itÕs far deeper than a movie like this
deserves to be.
- Speaking of deeper
meanings, Shoot ÔEm Up should be commended for finally bringing to
the forefront the sexual undertones of most action movies. Our villains carry
huge and unwieldy pistols, and the movie makes it plain that they do so for no
other reason than they feel inadequate without them. The Lone Man has a
particularly creepy relationship with his Dirty Harry-esque revolver. HeÕs
always seen polishing it, and in one memorable scene he goes into a bathroom
stall to do so (Éew). As to the henpecked Hertz, who never misses an
opportunity to brag about his massive gunÉwellÉdraw your own conclusions there.
Contrast this to Smith, who will grab any weapon he can find and handle it
expertly: proof that itÕs your aim, not your caliber, that matters in the long
run.
- I confess I donÕt have
much experience with brothels in general, but I am convinced that the kind of
brothel that Donna plies her trade in simply doesnÕt exist outside of the world
of movies. ItÕs one of those places where a differentÉahem, ŌserviceĶ is being
offered in each room. Like some kind of one-stop shopping boutique, where every
fetish can be catered to. I mean, maybe somewhere in Vegas there are places
like this, but man...I wouldnÕt think that prostitution was a trade where such
specialization was profitable. IÕd like to see their business modelÉ
- A search on the career
of writer-director Michael Davis revealed some interesting notes. Before doing
this movie, Davis was best known for directing direct-to-video kiddie flicks under
Full Moon EntertainmentÕs banner. He also wrote the screenplay for the Double
Dragon movie of a few years ago. IÕm trying very hard not to think about the
fact that a guy who did mediocre childrenÕs fare was able to craft such an
entertaining action movie. Maybe heÕs just been hiding his true talents all
this time. Or maybe itÕs just too damn easy to make an action movie these days.
Or maybe I should just shut up and enjoy the movieÉ
Written words (c) 2007-2010 Tim o'Brien. Not to be used without
permission. Other content, including images, is intended as a Fair Use pursuant to 17 U.S.C. sec.
107.
Date Posted: September 9th, 2007
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